-lming? Okay.
[Today, James is not the camera man. He's center frame with his long legs criss-crossed on the floor of one of the opulent rooms in Jack's mansion. The lights are low and he has a small candle near one of his knees that flickers.]Okay. I don't know how to start this, so I'll just start it. This is going to be a guide for people who have Psyducks. You might know this or you might not, but Psyduck has gotten one hell of a short stick when it comes to luck in the Pokemon world. These Pokemon have constant and I mean
constant headaches. It really sucks. Why is nature like this? Who do I talk to in order to get this fixed? Well, anyway...
[He looks at something off-camera for a moment and adjusts his glasses.]Psyduck was my starter Pokemon and it's taken a while but we've kinda worked a thing out where she doesn't feel so crappy all the time. One thing you can do is let them drink coffee or tea. Psyduck--that's her name-- likes tea the most. But the main thing we do is--
[He slaps his legs and a pudgy Psyduck dives in from stage left, sprawling across his lap.]--OMPH! Jeez, ugh! Is massage!
[The Psyduck nods before laying her chin on JW's knee and closing her eyes. He gently starts to press near her eyes and moves his fingers in firm circles. Psyduck lets out a loud raspy sigh and goes limp as JW's attentions move from the corners of her eyes to above them and even around to the back of her head.]You really want to pay attention to your Psyduck's neck because it can take a lot of strain from holding up their giant head.
[Psyduck's eyes snap open and she turns around to quack at JW who ignores her. Her temper is soon doused though when he really starts massaging the back of her neck. She does have a big head.]We also like to light a scented candle that Psyduck picked out. What they really need is to be relaxed. They have tons of psychic energy and I don't know the finer details but the less bunched up the Pokemon is the better...Psyduck, don't doze off.
[Too late! The yellow Pokemon has already gone limp again and a gentle snore comes from her bill. JW just rolls his eyes and tries not to smile as he works his fingers into the tense muscles on the top of her brow.]Well, I'm trapped here now. If anybody has any questions or comments, speak up or don't.